by Michelle Tykal and Kristen West McGuire
Pope Leo XIV recently noted that he was concerned about the rate of annulments in our country. After all, Americans comprise about 6% of world Catholics, but account for 60% of the annulments worldwide each year. What gives?
Well, there are more tribunal offices to assist Catholics than in other countries. Also, our country has “no-fault” divorce baked into local laws about marriage, which increases the chances of a civil divorce being granted, even when one spouse might object. And, many couples marry in civil ceremonies. After a conversion, even civil marriages may require an annulment prior to a Church marriage.
Beyond the statistics and the reasons, human relationships are always messy. Very few people make the decision to end a marriage lightly, and the extenuating circumstances are often grim. Even as we seek to support marriage, we also have an obligation to prayerfully support fellow Catholics who are suffering after divorce.
Here are several suggestions to facilitate healing. First, use the same sensitivity you would offer after a death in the family. Divorce and grief are intertwined. Second, don’t probe for details unless the person shares them. Third, don’t jump in with offers of dating opportunities. Your friend will let you know when or if he/she feels ready to date. Finally, be diligent about praying for your friend and his/her family. But do it quietly, as a service of love.
Life Giving Wounds is an online, peer-led apostolate to help adults with divorced and separated parents give voice to their pain and find transformative healing in Christ.
Divorced Catholic helps Catholics who have experienced separation and divorce to find recovery, rebuilding, and renewal.
Abounding Joy Ministry is a ministry of Carolyn Klika, a certified divorce healing coach. She offers online and in-person seminars and coaching.
Lord, We Pray:
Be with divorced women, your beloved daughters:
– that the emptiness and sorrow they feel may become a passage that leads to Your company and presence;
– that women who face financial instability and lack of support for child-rearing will find needed resources;
– for women to find networks of support in their parishes and local communities;
– for women to find resilience and courage to face the challenges of rebuilding their lives after a bitter divorce;
– for children, that they be assured of their humanity and preciousness, and not be treated as property or pawns in a game;
– for positive relationships with all family members, and an assurance that they are held in the palm of Jesus’s hand;
– for women to be protected from the lure of sexual sin;
– for the chaste affection of friends in their time of loneliness.
Amen
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PS – Dr. Dawn Eden Goldstein is making some great videos on facts about annulments in her role as Director of the Tribunal for the Diocese of Bridgeport. Check it out!
