Marriage: A Mirror of the Church
by Kristen West McGuire
Ephesians 5:21-33
21 Be subject one to another, in the fear of Christ. 22 Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord: 23 Because the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He is the saviour of his body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject to Christ, so also let the wives be to their husbands in all things. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the church, and delivered himself up for it:
26 That he might sanctify it, cleansing it by the laver of water in the word of life: 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy, and without blemish. 28 So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself. 29 For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, as also Christ doth the church: 30 Because we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be two in one flesh. 32 This is a great sacrament; but I speak in Christ and in the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular love his wife as himself: and let the wife fear her husband.
The Douay Rheims translation of the Bible, 1899. Public domain. To read it online, visit www.DRBO.org.
Context: Ephesians 5:21-33 forms part of the “household code,” a common ancient literary structure outlining ordered relationships in the Greco-Roman family to promote social harmony. Paul innovates by situating this code as an expression of Christ’s love.
(See also Colossians 3:18 – 4:1, and I Peter 2:13 – 3:12.) St. Paul specifically shows that Christ is the center of all relationships for a Christian, between husbands and wives, parents and children, or masters and slaves. In a society where the paterfamilias ruled, and wives, children, and slaves were often mistreated, this is ground–breaking.
Translation: Catholic doctrine, as articulated by Pope Saint John Paul II, interprets this scripture not as patriarchal dominion but as a communion of persons where authority serves the common good. The husband is not a “master” (kyrios in a tyrannical sense) but a steward of love, and the mutual subjection of 5:21 qualifies the asymmetry: both spouses submit “out of reverence for Christ,” fostering equality in dignity while respecting ordered roles.
Aquinas echoes this, viewing 5:21 as a general call to humility among believers. The passage thus counters cultural abuses (such as the power of the Roman paterfamilias) by grounding authority in Christ’s self-emptying love (Phil 2:7). It also supports the Church’s teaching on marriage as an indissoluble covenant (CCC 1601-1605), emphasizing complementarity without subordination of women.
Vocabulary:
- Hypotassomenoi (5:21, “be subject”): From hypotassō, meaning “to arrange under,” “submit,” or “obey” in military/governmental contexts. It implies voluntary placement under authority, not coercion.
- Phobō Christou (5:21, “out of reverence for Christ”): Phobos means “fear” but connotes reverential awe (as in “fear of the Lord,” Proverbs 9:10).
- Kephalē (5:23, “head”): Literally “head,” implying source/authority, not superiority in value. Compare to Greek term kyrios, that means master.
- Agapas (5:25, 28, 33, “love”): Agapaō denotes self-sacrificial, covenant love (agapē), contrasting eros. Husbands’ duty is active, Christ-like (gave himself up), balancing the wife’s respect (phobētai, 5:33, “fear/reverence”).
- Mystērion (5:32, “mystery”): St. Jerome translates this as sacramentum in the Latin Vulgate, making marriage a visible sign of Christ’s union with the Church. (See the Catechism, CCC 774-776.)
Meditation: Usually, we look at Ephesians 5:21-33 as a Biblical instruction on marriage. But, today, let’s take a look at what it tells us about the Church. It’s a profound mystery. Jesus Christ has come to change literally everything that we understand about God’s action in our lives.
So, looking to Christ, we see that God pours Himself out for us at every turn. Friends, in our churches, do we honor Him who gives all of Himself to us? Do we honor His priests who serve in an era when the world mocks and disrespects the priesthood? Do we acknowledge the parish staff who work long hours and often at a reduced salary? Do we treat one another with reverence as gifts of God, brought together in this time and place? Do we pray more than we offer our opinions on parish operations?
The sacrificial love of Christ flows from the sacraments, administered by the priests and led by our spiritual “head” (kephalē), the Bishop. We can make a free choice to see God’s hand at work, even and despite the challenges our Church faces. Look for the evidence that points to Jesus Christ alive in His Church, pointing us to heaven and the New Covenant. And give glory to God!
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